So much going on in my head

Really I could have done without this week.  It’s not been great.

It’s been really frustrating and disappointing.  Disappointing becuase I was so looking forward to it and it didn’t really pan out how I expected.

I wont whinge too much, but we’ve had a guy from a software company in Sydney train my team on 3 pieces of the software over the past four days.

There’s no manual.  I like to take notes.  I refer to them later, they jog my memory, they give me some clarity, they help me visualise what I was doing, they prompt me, they allow me to practice again afterwards.

But there’s been no manual provided.  And there’s been no opportunity to take notes.  So much has been crammed in that if I’d stopped to write a note the training would have progressed to the next section and I’d have missed out.

I’m not saying the software is complex, and yet it is.  It’s cool software.  I want to be really good at it.  I want what I do with it to be perfect.  I want to make a start and it all fall into place, the process go smoothly and yet I think it’s going to take time, more time than I would have hoped for.

Perhaps I’ve had unrealistic expectations.

But please, why couldn’t a manual have been provided.  I wouldn’t have minded if someone sent me the file and I printed it out.  I just wanted something to refer to later, to help me recollect different things and gain some extra confidence.

So between cramming so much into my brain, my training taking a bit of a backseat and trying to still manage normal work activities I’m feeling overwhelmed and disappointed that I’ve not been able to manage my week.  It’s been controlling me and I don’t like that.

I rode home on Monday and my spoke broke.  I took the wheel in the following day pretty much expecting it to be fixed the same day so I could ride to/from work on Wednesday.

Unfortunatley the part didn’t arrive and I’ve only gotten my wheel back today.  That means I’ve missed out on 3 rides (to work Tuesday, to work/spin/home on Wednesday).

I didn’t go for a swim on Monday and since my spoke broke I did my Tuesday strength session Monday night and went swimming on Tuesday morning since I had to take the car.

Tuesday my team went out for dinner.  It was really great.  However it was pizza and then dessert.  So I’m starting to feel like my training has taken a back seat and now all sorts of bad eating has been introduced.

Wednesday was nothing more than spin class.  And lollies at work and biscuits and the last of the Russian Fudge at home.

Today was meant to be a 30 minute swim.  I decided I wouldn’t go in the morning.  I wanted to spend some time with Mark before dashing out the door not to be seen until after 6pm again.  The plan was to swim after my physio appointment.  But I was running late so didn’t have time to change before leaving work, then I had to leave all my gear in the car becuase I didn’t have time to organise it before my physio appointment (which ended up starting late as it happened).  I tossed up the idea of heading back to the car afterwards but swimming lost it’s appeal.  Instead I renewed my membership (just 12 months swimming) and went home.

After trying to make up my mind – and it took 10 minutes – I went for a run.  Again I ate bad things and it was worrying me about having a day of bad food and no exercise.  My run was cut short becuase I was desparate to get to the toilet.  At least I got something in.

There’s so much to catch up with at work tomorrow.  It’s been playing on my mind and I can’t figure out a way to get everything done.  That inability to come up with a plan is weighing on my mind and affecting my decision making at home too.

I feel like I’m stuck in a vicious circle.  Maybe next week will be better.  I know it can’t be worse.

I think I can feel some "catch"

I was off swimming this morning.  It was meant to be Monday but I couldn’t be bothered.  However I was worried about how I was going to fit all my training in so I knew that since the opportunity presented itself (I *had* to take the car to work) I might as well go swimming.

I think I’m feeling the catch when swimming.  I’m not 100% sure because I’ve only got other people’s descriptions but I think I might just about have nailed it.

I also got a call from (can’t remember his name, Andrew?) about a swim lesson.

For Rachel, it’s $50 a lesson, that could be anywhere from 30-45 minutes.  He prefers the lesson during the mid day (better chance of getting a lane to yourself) and happy to have it at QEII or Wharanui.  However I can’t get to QEII – my preferred pool – at that time, so I’m going to Wharanui – which means I also have to pay for admission.  Bugger!

Anyway, who knows just what things he’ll decide would give me more bang for my buck.  I know that I’m better off spending my time on the bike or running because I can see improvements more readily, but still I desperately want to improve my swimming, or at least my confidence levels of completing that part of the Half Ironman before the cut-off times.

Next Thursday I have my lesson.  I hope it pays off.  I really want it to, but I probably want to see immediate improvements, immediately

Anyway, I’ll describe what I feel as the catch and see if that’s what it really is.  By George, I might just about have figured something really important out.

Can’t quite see my way around it

Since yesterday I’ve been sort of freaking out about this week.

The training (which isn’t quite what I expected) goes from 9 – 5pm.  That makes things tricky for training.

I looked at my programme and knew something was going to have to give, I just couldn’t see how I could fit it all in.

Mostly because Thursday I’ve got a physio appointment at 5:40 which means it wont finish until 6pm and that means I can’t make the running group.

So I’ve got an hour run to somehow fit in.

To make matters worse I had to figure out getting two rides to/from work in given we’re leaving from work tomorrow to to go out for dinner (my work team).

Normally I’d bike to/from work on a Tuesday and a Wednesday.  Monday’s are no good because I end up with so much stuff to take to work, and it’s a swimming day and that’s near impossible to do when biking.

So I took my bike to work the the plan to bike home (leave the car at work) and bike in on Tuesday.  That would see me through one to/from work.  I’d bring the car home (with bike) Tuesday and bike to work, then spin, and bike home from spin on Wednesday.

But still I’ve got to figure out how to fit in a run on Thursday when I’m at the pool in the morning.

Anyway, it’s all sort of gone to custard anyway because on my way home tonight my spoke broke.  Thankfully about 4km from home.  And I suppose thankfully I left work after 5pm which meant Mark had arrived home before me and could come and pick me up.

This morning didn’t start well.  My alarm went and I got back into bed ignoring the plan to go to the pool.

This is why I felt pressure to bike home, because really I just wanted to take the easy option and take the car home.  I’m a bit confused about the training and it seems unstructured and I can’t see my way to why we’d use some of the functionality of one of the new pieces of software we’ve got.  At least Peter can.  Hopefully he’ll share that with me.  But still there’s little in the way  of introducing and idea, explaining it’s purpose and putting it into context for us, so I’m floundering.  I can do what needs to be done, I just don’t understand why we’d do it.

Anyway, so because I didn’t go to the pool I knew I had to ride home irrespective of how I was feeling (which was with a headache through a full days training, my mind spinning).

Now with the busted spoke I can’t bike to work tomorrow, so I’ll have to take the other car.  Great, two cars at work.

In the end tonight I did Jen’s programme.  Though I dear say I did it poorly because my neck was getting all tight.  Everything felt much harder – though it could have been my attitude.

Now I’m contemplating going to the pool tomorrow, something I wouldn’t have been able to do if I were biking.

But really I feel like I’ve worked myself into a bit of a flap and I’m still not settled on what I’m doing, when I’m doing it so I feel out of sorts and my mind is still racing.

Sometimes I know I just need to make a decision.  Right or wrong just decide so I can let my mind rest.

Three hours in the saddle

What a nippy day it was.  When I got out of bed a little before 6:30am (having been awake for a good hour already waiting for Panadol to do the trick) it was minus 3 degrees.

Yes, that’s chilly, even for those of more accustomed to a harsh winter.

I threw another pair of gloves, extra woolly socks and my vest in the car along with the items I’d got together the night before.

I was sure I would never every extra layer.

Funny thing was the woolly socks were too thick to wear under my Tri shoes, the gloves, while thin made it too difficult to bend my fingers once I put my winter gloves over the top, but I was able to get the vest on.  That would just make it impossible to get food out of my jacket pockets.  Oh well, something’s gotta give.

Isn’t it funny how you look to your peers to see what they’re wearing/taking to decide what is OK or laughable.  So I didn’t wear my neck gaitor.  I would have been very useful.  I felt sure I hadn’t zipped up my jacket and vest properly becuase I had a chill on my chest.  I had zipped up properly so the neck gaitor might have done the trick.

We headed off out of Bishopdale to Main NOrth Road so that we could venture out through Kaipoi, toward Woodend and towards Sefton.  From Sefton we cycled a loop and then turned right to head towards Rangiora.

It’s fair to say that Cameron and Joe might have missed each other a bit.  Then again, maybe their behaviour is "normal".

I’ve never seen two people clown about on their bikes so much.  I think I’ve seen every ordinary and not so ordinary riding style now.

For the most part they were well behaved and it was easy to sit on their wheel.

Emma had warned me that they’ll take off and if you try to hang on they’ll just get faster and faster.

She and Hillary have learnt to go at their pace and the boys will eventually button it back and everyone will join up again.

All good advice, however when we got to the smallish hills I wasn’t letting go of the rear wheel of whoever was in front.  I figured if I was going to ahve an easy ride by drafting I might as well go the whole hog which meant sitting on the back wheel, even when going up an incline.

Before we reached Rangiora I was aware my butt was no longer at peace with my saddle.  It was odd really because when we headed out I became aware that I wasn’t aware of my saddle.  It was my first ride where I’d hopped on the bike and not been aware of my sit bones.  Woo hoo, it was all starting to feel natural.  However it wasn’t to last.

While I’d sort of pooh pooh’ed the idea of stopping for a coffee I was secretly wondering how soon would we be stopping.  I was looking forward to getting off the bike.

So at Rangiora it was time to dismount and stop for a cuppa.

Explain to me why the only hot beveredge not to have a marshmallow was the Hot Chocolate.  Daft.  The short black (was it?), the Mocca hot chocolate and whatever Emma had – normal espresso I think – all have a marshmallow but not Hillary or I with our hot chocolates.  Made no sense at all.  Must have been becuase we asked for an explanation of a Delux Hot Chocolate and decided to just go for the standard one.  I guess only the Delux has the marhmallow.  I really need to "let it go Michael".

As we were leaving the shop it appeared to be a bit of a "discussion" going on between a man who had his dog leashed to the pillar and a couple who had walked by.

Both men ended up with no personal space and here is wee Cameron coming up to try and separate them before fists went flying.

I did point out his efforts had they been needed may have been thawted by his cycle shoes and as Joe pointed out, he was such a man pitching up in his lycra.

Still ….

I have to admit that the last hour was starting to feel tough.  I took a turn at the front, if you can call 15 minutes at the front a "turn".  According to my watch it was downhill but it really wasn’t feeling like it was easier, in fact it felt harder.  Though we had upped the speed a mere 2km/hr.

My butt was starting to really argue with me and my legs were beginning to tire.  All up we were cycling between the high 27’s and up to 30km/hr during that last minute.  I’ve just checked and the average was 26.6km/hr with an average cadence of 88rpm.  I’ll take that.

I was able to hang in there at the end despite being the only one who refused to cross a big intersection on an orange light (hey, I’ve been hit by a car, I’m allowed to be more cautious).  It did allow me a minute of rest while the others just ambled along on their bikes waiting for me.

Will there be another ride with Cameron, Joe, Emma and Hillary.  I would imagine so.  Though Cameron is implying that this was almost a one off "easy" ride.  Next week he’s bringing his "fast" bike.  Though Emma has said that if he wants to go fast he wants to go on his own

A trip down memory lane

It was Natalie’s 40th yesterday, her actual birthday, and a celebration, a PARTY.

It was held at a beautiful home out in Ohoka.  The owners are friends and the lady (can’t remember if I know her name) is a caterer and they took care of everything.  I mean everything!

There was all sorts of drinks (non-alcoholic), nibbles of every variety, gourmet savouries, chicken nibbles, little spring rolls.  Then sandwiches came out, club sandwiches in all sorts of combinations.  And they weren’t small.

I’m skipping ahead a lot, but there were all sorts of delicate, decadent chocolate delights for dessert along with a beautiful cake made and decorated by a friend of Natalie’s.

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It was a lovely evening for Natalie.  Lots of friends there.  Plenty of beautiful gifts (you’re never too old for presents) and a great slide show that Jasmine had compiled of photos over Natalie’s 40 years (I happened to make the odd appearance too).

More than a trip down memory lane for Natalie, it was also a trip down memory lane for me.  There were friends of Natalie’s that I knew from a life well passed.  It was a little embarrassing in some ways.

I love that Dean (who I couldn’t remember his name only his face, thanks Logan for the reminder) said:  What’s your name again.  Haha!

Yes, I suppose after 20 plus years it’s not surprising that one or two of us can recognise a face but can’t quite put our finger on a name.

But hey, I was the birthday girls sister, you MUST know my name