The good news

Hmm, I walked out of QEII thinking to myself, there must be something good to take away from that experience.

I could say that going was the good news, but then if I hadn’t have gone the following wouldn’t have happened:

• I bashed my wrist/watch not once but twice and it dug into the top of my hand so badly it’s caused  a sort of blood blister type thing and I’ve ended up with a tender bump
• I whacked my arm again and lost a button off my watch
• My goggles leaked from the word go and got so bad I could barely see the middle lane marker
• Asians cuddling at the end of the lane who obviously don’t realise it’s a place to swim not smooch
• Foreigners unable to read what “speed” the lane is and carelessly use the kick board and get in the way (I had my flippers on else I’d probably have been slower than them, but in the slow lane)
• A group of school boys donned the aqua swimming belts and dive bombed into the pool right where I was practicing my “hanging” technique – the last “relaxing” technique before getting out of the pool.
• Once I showered I got an eyelash in my eye AFTER I’d smeared Anusol around my eyes.  That stuff is sticky so trying to coax an eyelash out was almost impossible

I tried all my relaxing drills.  I guess that’s something.  I can’t say there was any improvement but it wasn’t any worse.

How come it was easier at Aqua Gym under the watchful eye of Ali?  Why is it so difficult to master the techniques when on your own, with no pressure of someone critiquing you?

Looking at the week on a whole it wasn’t flash.  I’m well under what I should have done.

Monday wasn’t a happening thing.  It was either swim or run for 45 minutes.  My tummy wasn’t quite right, and Bec was unwell so neither option took place.

I went to the gym as planned on Tuesday.  I was at the hotel and there were limited things I could use to try and simulate the session I’d have at QEII.

Wednesday was fine.  Thursday was fine.  Friday was my “relaxing” swim.  Saturday I had to cut my ride short as I had a hair appointment.  A real hair appointment Nadine.  And today I missed my 90 minute run and had a less than average swimming session.

Well I wanted to feel better having forced myself out the door but I really don’t.  This week just seems to have had too many lows for me to feel good about it and I’ve missed a number of sessions which never makes me feel proud.

I really want to end on a good/positive note but I’m just not in the right head space to see anything.  I know there’ll be a silver lining but I’ve got too much chlorine in my eyes to see it

I’m scared

I’m supposed to be going to the pool today for a 20 minute session and I’m scared.  I’m putting it off.  There’ll be something else to do (especially when I’m looking for any diversion) and I wont get there.

Already I’ve put a few items on TradeMe.  My pedals were snapped up in about 7 minutes.  Obviously I put them on too cheap.  Someone got a good deal for $20.

Why am I scared?  I’m struggling with relaxing and then I get funny looks from the lifeguards and I’m just being a sook.

I knew when I woke up this morning I was going to get a lovely crampy tummy (sorry Deo, TMI) and I’ve proved how well I understand my body on that front.

So now I could use it as an excuse.  But as much as I’m scared and looking for excuses not to go, I also no that I need to go and it’s not going to be any easier tomorrow or the next day.

This morning I was to get up at 7am, out the door for 7:30am and up to Rapaki Track for a 90 minute run, then to the pool.

I lay in bed deciding whether to go this morning or this afternoon.  I knew that this afternoon would be better as the sun wouldn’t be in my eyes.  And that’s beneficial because I really can’t afford to hurt my ankles anymore.

So I got up, weeded the garden, made pancakes for breakfast and cleaned my bike in between other Sunday chores.

Oh, I got two loads of washing dry on the line.  We haven’t had laundry on the line since the end of Summer.

We went next door for lunch at 12:30 and didn’t leave until 4pm.  Possibly outstayed out welcome and I then it was too late to go to Rapaki.  Ok I could have still gone but I wanted to strike while the iron was hot and get my stuff on TradeMe.

With my changed plans for training I was going to arrive at Rapaki for 3:00, back at the car for 4:30 and to the pool for 5pm.  As I sit here typing it’s 5:08 and as I said, I’m sitting here typing.

What to do what to do.

I need to go.  Doesn’t mean I’ll go though.  Today is not a day I need to be told to take a concrete milkshake.  Ok, I probably do need that speech.

Tempting, but no.

While out for our bunch ride today Craig from Chain Reaction was telling me about the new Scott Addict bike which comes in a XXS.  He said he could do it for $4,800. It’s full carbon.

This is the bike.

Why do people have to tell you about such things.  I would love a new bike.  My bike is fine.  That’s all I can say about it.

As I was heading to pick Deo up I was talking to myself trying to figure out why I don’t take better care of it.  It’s been in need of a clean for weeks now, and the chain too will be dirty.

I decided it was because I didn’t really value it.  I didn’t think it was a great bike and so I tend not to give it the respect it deserves.  It’s my ONLY bike and for that reason if none other I should really take much better care of it.

So when someone starts dropping hints about this nice new shiny carbon bike my mind goes into overdrive.

I’ve probably spent about an hour looking at reviews of the bike, then trying to decide if I could afford it.

The truth is that yes I could buy it, but I wouldn’t be able to pay it off my credit card the next month as I do with everything else which means that it’ll cost me interest.  I don’t like paying interest and I especially don’t like $1500 worth of interest over the term it would take me to pay it back (using the reduction in tax from October).

So while I wanted it, and I wanted the figures to stack up I guess I’ll turn my back and hope that my Bonus Bond numbers get pulled from the barrel or whatever it is that they use to pluck out some random number.

Back to dreaming.

No pain no gain

I had my sports massage last night.  But not until after I’d run.

I went around the perimeter of North and South Hagley Parks.  I had a 45 minute run to get in.  It was meant to be a flat off-road run but with the appointment in Riccarton at 6pm I made the best of the situation.

There’s still a lot of water hanging around and parts of the path were under water.

I had my MP3 with me but had forgotten to bring my head band so keeping the earphones in was going to be a mission.

The space in my ears where the earphones sit is too small and they don’t fit.  I have some in-bud earphones from Sony with the hook to go around the ear.  But with the movement of running they were just falling out all the time and I was constantly pushing them back in my ear and the hook around my ear.

Anyway the run went pretty well and I was heading back to work with about 4 minutes to spare so went up Mandeville Street to make up some time.  I can’t remember now if my last run around both parks was 40 minutes but I think not.  Which means I’m running a bit faster.  I didn’t feel faster really but perhaps.

So after a quick shower I was off to see Maree for a sports massage.

I mentioned that I’d hurt both feet running down Rapaki track and that my right foot wasn’t much better.  Maree mentioned that the tendons and ligaments can often take 6 weeks to heal in that area and was there any improvement yet.  I said I thought some but not much.

On that note I’ve agreed to go and get physio because 6 weeks is a long time to wait to see if it gets better as that’s not always the case for everyone.

I think I have a pretty good pain threshold and often will be very uncomfortable but manage during the massage.  Not so last night.  I was close to begging her to stop.  And I shouldn’t say “begging” because it’s up to me to let Maree know if I’m coping or not, she can’t look at my face while massaging to try and read how I’m doing.

So many times last night I had to say it was too much.

After having my feet and lower legs worked on Maree then did my right shoulder, the one that’s been injured for about 3 years now but have never had physio done.

I talked about the different ways I’m sleeping at the moment just to be comfortable.  I lay on my back with my right hand under my butt.  Now I thought I was pulling my shoulder back by doing that, but I was in fact shortening my shoulder which is why it was more comfortable.  Maree demonstrated this by copying what I was doing.  Sure enough I aren’t doing myself any favours, though it’s more comfortable and right now I value the quality of my sleep.

Today my foot is more noticeable than it was before going to physio but it’s probably all the blood getting to it.  And thankfully the injury is in a really accessible place so I can sort of massage/rub it myself.

All I have to do is get my A into G and do all this stuff I know needs doing.  I just forget to think about it

This isn’t a winning formula

This morning I was back in the pool.  At QEII.  It was a 50m pool.  I always feel a little despondent when I see a 50m pool.

Anyway, armed with the new information about relaxing I got down to business.

I started with the balance on the way up, and finding my sweet spot on the way down the pool.

When back where I started from I tried out some of the relaxing techniques.  I began with my crocodile breathing which was fine, but the pencil thing wasn’t working out as well.  I tried to loosely hold onto the lane rope with two fingers (thinking the fewer fingers the less tension there’d be) but in a death grip.  Well not quite.

I was telling myself to relax.  It wasn’t happening as quickly as I wanted.  So I told myself again.  Still no response from the body.  I started to urge myself to relax.

Nope, you can’t really talk yourself into relaxing, it’s not going to happen.

When I’d done 20 minutes of drills and relaxation techniques I went to the side of the pool, where the Aqua jogging lane is and tried to “hang” in the water. This worked at Aqua Gym in the shallower pool.  There I had my feet on the ground and my arms hanging down but I never actually hung in the pool because it wasn’t deep enough.

It wasn’t easy initially, then I realised I really needed to sort of double over which was somewhat better, at least I wasn’t sinking to the bottom of the pool.  My biggest worry was the life guard thinking I was drowning.  He’d already given me a couple of unfriendly looks.  Might be because I was loitering at the end of the lane practicing my relaxation techniques.

Tonight when I met Mark at the supermarket he asked if I’d been to the pool again.  I looked at him quizzically and he said I had marks around my eyes still.

Gotta get into the habit of putting the Anusol cream on around my eyes each night.